Dear Diary,

Where did May go? I went places and I ate some stuff. Observe:

May 11
What I Did: I had a minor surgery. I am OK. Thank you for asking.
What I Ate: Needing comfort food, I asked Scott for a Blizzard from Dairy Queen. I did not know what Dairy Queen until I got to college, the result of parents who knew ahead of time what a food snob I would become.* So I’ve only gone five times in my life. Four of those times, I got the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup Blizzard. Once, I got the Pumpkin Pie Blizzard. I regret nothing.
What I Drank: Water with painkillers.

May 13
What I Did: Scott planned a surprise birthday get-together at Bradstreet Crafthouse!
What I Ate: My friend Natalie, of Sweets by Natalie Kay, made an amazing champagne raspberry cake. It was delicious, as always. Natalie is amazing. Do you need a cake, cookies, cake pop or other form of baked goodness? Of course you do. Now you know where to get the best ones.
What I Drank: Everything Bradstreet has with whisky in it. I know this because I kept asking the server for new takes on whisky cocktails and she said, “You’ve already had everything we have with whisky in it.” I regret nothing.

May 14-17
What I Did: Scott planned a surprise birthday trip to San Francisco and Sonoma Valley!
What I Drank: This is a trend with my birthdays. We’ve now gone on winery tours in Arizona, Iowa, Minnesota and good old Wine Country. (Sorry, Minnesota, but you were the worst.) At one point during our Iowa tour, we were invited to the winemaker’s cellar to try some very odd flavors (my favorite thing!) like basil wine and garlic wine. My friend Tonya had to suck the wine from the barrels out of a big tube. I found her later eating what she called a new kind of plant in the winemaker’s farm. It was grass. And it was his yard, not a farm. We regret nothing.
Oh, You Were Asking About My Photo of a Fish-Shaped Item: We ate vegetarian fish, made from taro root, at a place called Lucky Creation in Chinatown. I’ll tell you more later. I promise.

May 22-24
What I Did: Then it was time to celebrate Scott’s birthday, so I went on a business trip to Chicago and left him home all alone. Some people might think this is unfair considering how much Scott had just done for my birthday the week before, but Scott is not one of those people. He is kind and caring and selfless and I am a bastard, so we really even each other out!
What Scott Ate: I left Scott birthday gifts while I was gone. We had a birthday cake for a get-together later in the week, but on his actual birthday, he got to feast on dark chocolate raspberry cake pops, again thanks to Sweets by Natalie Kay. I’d go so far as to say that, were there ever a war between cake pops and cake, I might side with cake pops. I’m just so grateful this war has not yet taken place and we can eat both.
What I Ate and Drank: My 50-minute flight to Chicago turned into a 3.5-hour ordeal. I got to the hotel late, ordered deep-dish pizza form Giordano’s (my Orlando and Chicago habit, I suppose) and had beer sent to the room. I’ve never been a member of a royal family, but I imagine it is not dissimilar to how I spent that evening. I regret nothing.

Good News: I ate other things in May. Let’s wait until June to discuss. Highlights:

• Another surgery!
• Attacking squash with a mandolin!
• Bruschetta Gone Asian!
• More birthday cake!
• Big Star in Chicago!
• Sonoma Valley wineries!
• That thing that excites you that will make you come back to read more!

*Also: I was chubby and they were trying to help me out.