Hey, everyone. I have my first cooking video ready for you! Not in the market to learn to make a new dish today? How about a front-row seat to hear about how to eat as many Cheetos as you want by pretending you’re making butternut squash dishes?

Yeah. You’re sold.

I started things off with a take on butternut squash soup because that was the dish that first made me realize I should spend some time in the kitchen. When I was a teenager, I decided I should learn how to cook by being a grand old help to my mom on Thanksgiving Day. I suggested she help me make butternut squash soup.

She and I labored over it, while she was also trying to cook the rest of the meal, and, friends, it was a big moment in the kitchen for me. The taste, the texture, the smell of my very first dish … they were just all godawful.

It was truly a disgusting mess.

So why did it keep me in the kitchen? Because I think kitchen blunders are to be embraced. If we all gave up after one botched dish, where would we be? Sure, Recipes Gone Wild can sometimes turn out to be on the inedible side. But they also help you learn about your own palate and skills.

In the spirit of embracing our mistakes, I’ll confess this to you. I completely forgot to tell you about using ginger root in the video, but it’s in the recipe below.

And that brings us to a new segment we’ll call Kitchen Confessionals. Since I’m doing these videos without a script or anybody to tell me when to filter myself, my most fun moments will be my intimate moments talking to the camera. Enjoy:

Oh, and you probably want the recipe in written form, too. I’m doing a lot for you today. You’re welcome.

Thai-Inspired Butternut Squash Soup

Hands-on Time: It’s just prep work, dear. You can handle it.
Total Time: 2.5 hours. Calm down.

Ingredients

• 2 butternut squashes
• 2 apples
• 1 large onion
• 6 carrots
• ginger root (a piece that is about an inch and a half long)
• red curry paste
• 4 cans of vegetarian vegetable broth (I won’t be mad at you if you use chicken stock, but some chickens are gonna be pissed)
• 1 can of coconut milk
• olive oil
• 1/2 stick of butter
• chile sesame oil
• cilantro

Preheat the oven to 375. Slice the butternut squashes in half and remove seeds. Brush them with olive oil, then place cut-side down in two baking dishes. Bake for one hour.

Meanwhile, chop the apples, onion and carrots into small chunks. They don’t need to look pretty. Chop the ginger root into five pieces.

You’ll probably have a little break here. Pat yourself on the back. Or it took you an hour to cut up that stuff. No pat on the back in that case. Take the squash out of the oven. I prefer to give it 15 minutes to harden up and not severely damage my hands, but you could also give peeling the skin off right away a shot. Best of luck. If you wait, like I do, then you can grab the squash and scrape the insides into a bowl. Easy stuff.

Melt the butter in a large pot over medium heat. Throw the apples, onion and carrots in, then kick it up to medium-high. Give it five minutes.

Throw in the red curry paste. I say two tablespoons, but you can adjust this to your own taste. (But, come on. Use a lot.) Give it two minutes.

Throw in the broth and squash. Stir a little. Bring it to a boil, then reduce the heat and simmer for an hour.OK, now everybody gets a pat on the back. Go on. Do it.

After an hour, remove the five pieces of ginger root with a slotted spoon.

Then, working in batches, transfer the soup to a blender and blend until smooth. Or, if you have a Magic Soup Wand/immersion blender, save loads of time and praise yourself for your smart purchase. (No pat on the back this time. You’ve had enough.)

Now let’s make this thing purty. Ladle the soup into a bowl, then drizzle the chile sesame oil over the top, then drizzle the coconut milk over it, then throw on some cilantro.

Celebrate. With soup.