I’ve had a few deaths in the kitchen lately, which, as a vegetarian, really takes a lot of work.
First the toaster became an overachiever. It would toast, but it wouldn’t stop toasting. And, as it turns out, that step is just as important. Toasting required a vigilant guard who would rip the cord from the wall when the desired level of browning was achieved. (Fun Fact: You can make Slice of Toast just like I taught you to make Nacho. You can even combine the two techniques to make Slice of Cheese Toast. True story.)
Being the cheapest man alive, I was fine with this toast-guarding situation for quite a while. But then the coffee maker shot itself in the face. It’s a grind-and-brew model, and the grinder no longer pushed its contents into the basket to brew. Again, I stood guard, opening the coffeemaker every morning and transferring the coffee grounds for it. This went on for two weeks. Then, this week, I awoke to find a coffee explosion in the kitchen. I think the carafe pissed off the rest of the coffeemaker, as its intended contents now just spill freely onto the floor and cabinets. The white floor and cabinets. But I find showing up to the office sleepy and covered in brown liquid lends a sense of professionalism and mystique.
Then, to complete this vicious cycle, I have been making dishes that are absolutely delicious but, well, not photogenic. First, a pea and paneer career. It tasted like heaven. But no photos could do it justice. While I admit I could not grab a good photo, if you judge Indian food by its appearance … well, good — there’s more for me that way.
Then we made Smoky Kale Chips. Absolutely delicious. But it looks like we baked leaves and ate them.
I’ll make you something pretty soon. After I bury my appliances.
By the way, thanks for the wonderful comfort food confessions. Cheez-Its with apple sauce. Hash browns. Whiskey. You people get me. Did you not share yours? Do it.
Oh this post really had me laughing! It was as though you were in a bad relationship with said appliances, trying to overlook their serious faults and accommodating them until you just couldn’t any longer. Oh and you’re vegetarian? Now I like you even more. 🙂
Thanks so much, Ivy! I am quite attached to the coffeemaker. I’m still holding on.
And, yup, I’m a vegetarian! Don’t tell the meat-eaters. I still want them around.
I don’t care if it isn’t pretty so long as it tastes good! I recently couldn’t find our blender. Then I remembered that it broke last year and I threw it out. Then I found it. It wasn’t broken. I apparently remembered nothing and made the whole story up. Anyway, I can’t find Paneer cheese in Ankeny. Where did you buy it when you lived here?
I didn’t start cooking with it until we moved to Minneapolis, but now I get it at Costco. Start exploring new ethnic grocery stores! … None there come to mind right now, sadly.
Oh. And remember that vegetable chopper from the Thai-Inspired Butternut Squash soup video?
Dead. Also dead. I’ve lost so many friends in the kitchen recently.
I love kale chips. Honestly, Cavan, I’ve noticed the past few months some of my favorite vegetarian foods probably look bland and just overall weird-looking to people who might see what I brought to work. It’s like, the weirder or more boring it looks, the better it usually tastes!
LOL! Loved this post. Have you considered having your electrical situation checked out? That’s a ridiculous number of appliance losses! Sadness. Also, I am SO going to try Cheez-Its with applesauce. 😉
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