We’ve pitted salad against salad, green beans against corn, corn against couscous, and our livers against vodka. It’s hard to imagine us having a better time together than our Thanksgiving Side-Dish Face-Off.

Well, going to Disney World together probably would have been a good time, too. But I already went this year. Without you. I’m sorry.

I started this as a way to narrow down how many dishes we’re making, as we did make 19 dishes last year. Then I promptly fell in love with every recipe I found and clung to them for dear life, only cutting some from the list after realizing that we would certainly die if we made and ate all 47 of the great dishes I found.

So a few things had to go:

I love you Kale and Brussels Sprout Salad, winner of our salad round, but filling the table and our guts with all those gigantic leaves just didn’t seem right. There’s butter to be eaten, kale. Thanksgiving is just not your day.

And you, Israeli Couscous with Asparagus and Butternut Squash. I’ve talked about you for weeks. I’ve bragged about you to people who have to feign interest. But I had to cut someone, and Green Bean Casserole has been part of Thanksgiving since the dawn of time, if I understand the pilgrims’ history correctly.

Our final Thanksgiving menu (with the entire family in the kitchen):

Breakfast
Scones
Citrus Salad with Mint Sugar

Bar
Pumpkin Liqueur — For coffee
Bloody Mary Bar — horseradish, tomato, basil and vodkas
Champagne Punch — Vodka, limoncello, lemon juice, champagne
Wine and beer

Day Snacking
Creamy Pea Dip
Cheese Plate: crackers, olives, cheese, nuts

Dinner
Turkey
Tofu Turkey (we’re making our own this year!)
Stuffing
Gravy and Mushroom Gravy
Cranberry Sauce
Dinner Rolls
Roasted Red and Gold Beets, Turnips and Carrots with Goat Cheese and Beet Greens
Green Bean Casserole
Brussels Sprouts caramelized in Ponzu
Celery Root and Kolrabi Puree
Mashed Potatoes
Corn Pudding
Boiled Onions
Macaroni and (Bleu) Cheese

Dessert
Pumpkin Pie
Blueberry Cheesecake

Let me leave you with this: a turkey made of vegetables. Did that just blow your mind? Because then you really won’t want to see my turkey made of tofu.

My friend Allison alerted me to this trend, and this is a turkey vegetable she made for her family.

I ask you: What’s a more fun take on a Thanksgiving side dish than that?

No, really. Tell me. Share your photos with me on my Facebook page. This place is called You’re In My Kitchen. Get in it.